


Chestn-....  And You Puked On My Floor

by AbandonedLibrary



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Christmas Time, Fluff, M/M, Mistletoe, Pidge is the Ultimate Wingman, So Done with it!Lance, Someone owes someone a door, Violence with Door, drunk!shiro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-10 17:48:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8926492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbandonedLibrary/pseuds/AbandonedLibrary
Summary: Lance planned for a nice comfortable evening in his tiny apartment. He didn't expect for someone to break into his apartment only to puke all over his floor.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Secret Santa Gift! For @delablossom!!!!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this for it was so much fun to write! 
> 
> The prompt I chosen was = I'm drunk and walked into the wrong room, but you look cute and cuddly. Be my wife.
> 
> Though, I slightly changed this just a bit. Hope you don't mind. XD

“Hunk, I'm telling you that Shay seriously likes you! You literally don't have to be worried about anything for your date tomorrow.” Lance informed, sitting on his couch with his tablet set up beside him. Hunk was on the screen, looking pale and obviously was sweating like crazy a he lifted different outfits to him every few seconds. 

Lance looked over towards the clock, it was still early in the night with it being only 5 o'clock. But, already the outside was getting dark and Lance had take out sitting at the coffee table ready to be consumed. The male knew he wouldn't be going out considering it was freezing out and the snowstorm outside was too intense to even drive. 

“But, it sure does make a beautiful site.” Lance thought, looking out the window to see the heavy snowflakes flying onto every surface they could find. 

“LLLLAAANNNCCCEEE!!!”

“Hunk, stop choosing outfits meant for summer! Even though you're going to a museum doesn't mean it won't be cold inside.” Lance scolded, taking a spoon full of fried rice and savoring the taste of take out. 

“But... But, Lance....” Hunk sobbed, making Lance sigh as he looked over towards his panicking friend. Lance once again spent the next thirty minutes calming his friend, opening his DS to play Pokemon Moon as he spoke. But, after an hour in, he couldn't help frown as a loud commotion seemed to be coming from outside. 

Waving his hand to Hunk, he silenced his friend as he made his way towards his window. And of course, right there in the towering high class apartment beside his own. There seemed to be some sort of huge party going on, making Lance growl as he stared at the flashing lights on the floor and the obvious loud cheers. 

With a huff, he closed his window and headed straight back to his couch. Hunk, gave his friend a look seeing the pissed off expression with a question, before realization hit the gentle giant. “Let me guess, rich people parties?” Hunk asked, getting Lance to snort. 

“It's that Garrison Military guy! He always throws parties and acts like he's a gift to the universe.” Lance scoffed, making Hunk snort as well. 

“Well... they make your rent cheap.” Hunk offered, making Lance roll his eyes. 

“Hunk, I hate it when you're right.” Lance groaned, getting his friend to laugh. Soon they went back into the conversation of work, wondering what they would be expecting for tomorrow. The two both worked in the ships repair crew along with their good friend Pidge. Lance didn't realize how much time went by, when suddenly his 3DS screamed that it was almost out of power. 

Without a word, he turned off and plugged it in. Already talking to Hunk about something he saw on a show when a loud noise was heard from his bedroom. This alarmed Lance and he quickly got up to see what the hell it was. A part of him hoped it wasn't a burglar, because the only thing he had that was worth anything was his 3DS and games. Along with the couch, but he didn't think the burglar would be able to get the couch out. 

Lance gulped, grabbing his door knob with a bit of fear and reluctance. He could hear soft confused curses and stumbling from inside his room. Lance could hear Hunk's worries from his tablet, which now that he thought about it, was also of value for the burglar. Especially since it was the newest holo-tablet on the market that he got as gift. 

Looking around Lance grabbed the nearest object that could act as his defense. Which ironically was a frying pan, since Lance had mistakenly placed it in the hallway in the middle of the night when he thought it was a fly swatter. Wielding the pan, Lance breathed in before shoving the door open. 

“DON'T ROB ME! I'm already poor!” Lance shouted, holding the pan up as he barged into the room. 

….. Only for whoever it was to puke on his floor. And not the small amount of puke, this was drunk off your ass puke. Lance can even smell the alcohol that was on the man, making him scrunch up his nose as he stared at the poor soul. Because, even though he broken into his apartment and into his room the only words that Lance could describe the other was... 

“You look like shit.” Lance sighed, staring at the very handsome stranger. 

But, even though the other was tall, built like a tank and had such sharp features that he can just feel the paper cuts. His hair was also frazzled looking, his shirt looked torn, his eyes looked exhausted and there was puke all over his face and person. 

And while the person can be a total murderer, Lance couldn't help feel pity for the guy. Obviously he came from the wild party next door and if it's anything like usual, then he would be one of the many that would come out just like this. 

“You need better friends if they abandon you like this.” Lance sighed, gently guiding the drunk man to his small bathroom. “Sorry dude, I don't have anything for you to change in. But, I can at least wash your clothes.” Lance informed, getting a confused daze look from the man. 

This made Lance worry that the man might have been drugged, and helped the other clean himself off before throwing one of Hunk's left over shirts on him. Since, he figured that the shirts he owned would ripe right off the man. And Lance didn't want to pop an awkward boner, since he's trying to prevent himself from getting one from the very beginning. 

“Man, you're heavy.” Lance whined, dragging the dad weight to his comfortable couch. 

The man whined, a cute adorable whine, when Lance peeled himself away from the other. It made the slim male blush and he quickly throw one of his large fluffy blankets over the other. It was cold in his apartment and the heat wasn't on because Lance needed to save money. He grabbed a few bottles of water and placed them in front of the drunk man. 

“So, my names Lance. What's yours?” Lance asked, watching as the guy stared at the water with a pout, before he turned back towards him. Lance made a gurgling noise at how intense those eyes were, but the image of sexy was turned into cute as the other gave a stubborn pout. 

“Uuuhhhh.” Lance started, raising a brow at the other as he continued to move around in the blanket. Again Lance was stricken with how fucking adorable the other was. 

When the other started making grabby hands towards him and moving in a similar fashion of a caterpillar, Lance couldn't help to burst into little giggles. It made Lance blush, as it seemed the other finally decided to jump on him, making Lance grunt with his air leaving his lungs at the impact. While the other didn't like to admit it, Lance was a skinny guy and the man that tackled him was like a football player tackling a corn stack. 

“Whoa! Lance! Who's that?!” Hunk cried. 

“Whoops sorry Hunk, forgot we were still on a call.” Lance confessed, making Hunk gape at him before shaking his head. 

“Lance, who is that?” Hunk asked, watching as the large man began cuddling Lance. Rubbing his face against his chest, while Lance sighed. “I don't really know?” Lance explained, before jerking his thumb towards his room. 

“He broke into my apartment, puked on my floor... which still needs to be cleaned and is now borrowing your clothes because he's well... this.” Lance informed, watching as the drunk man tried to toe at the water bottles on the table. Only to whine when they just fell onto the rug below. 

“Hey, can you give me your name?” Lance asked, placing both hands on the sides of the other man's face in order to get him to look into his eyes. 

“My name is Lance, what's your name?” He repeated, making Shiro furrow his eyebrows. Suddenly a very pleasant and dreamy look was on his features and Lance sweat dropped at the man's drunk stupor. But, thankfully, he finally spoke up in a somewhat cognitive answer. 

“Takeshi Shirogane....you can callz me sssshhhiiirrrooo.... you're so fucking pretty.” Shiro moaned, making Hunk sputter along with Lance. 

“TAKESHI SHIROGANE?!?!” Hunk wheezed, looking like he was about to have a complete and utter meltdown. Lance frowned, but he was distracted as Shiro stated to tighten his hold on him and even LIFT HIM UP a bit in order for him to be laying down. Lance sprawled on his chest, sputtering again as he tried to get up. 

“NNNoooo.... I want to cuddle with you...... oh my globs... you're so warm and soft and nice... and be my wife...” Shiro cried, actually full blown crying and sobbing. 

“Whoa! You made him cry?!” 

“I DIDN'T MEAN TOO?!” 

“DO SOMETHING!” 

“I'M TRYING YOU GIANT TOTORO!” Lance shouted, managing to get out of the man's grasp long enough to set both his tablet and his 3DS on the coffee table on their side. He then allowed himself to be cuddle in the strong rams of Shiro, puffing an a bit of air out at how hard he hit the others chest. Lance grumbled a bit, feeling just a bit annoyed and yet the warmth of Shiro help soothe some of that irritation. 

“There, there, I'm not going anywhere.” Lance comforted, rubbing soothing circles in the thick arms of Shiro. Which... again, Lance was fighting down the boner he had for this man that was currently drunk, on his couch and cuddling him like he was some sort of teddy bear.

But, then Shiro started wailing into Lance's chest making Lance look at Hunk as if he was saying 'for real?' while the other continued to look at Shiro in pure shock. Lance was about to ask Hunk what was wrong, when once again, Shiro had butted in as he looked at Lance with watery eyes. 

“You're... just... so fucking beautiful and warm and fit in my arms..... BE MY WIFE!” Shiro sobbed, smashing his face into Lance's chest in order to continue his desperate cries. J

“...... So... Lance?” 

“Yeah, Buddy?” 

“You realize, that you have the famous retired Pilot Takeshi Shirogane, currently drunk off his ass. Being cradled in your arms as he cries himself into a mess while proclaiming his marriage to you?” Hunk informed, making Lance pale. 

“Wait, you mean the Takeshi Shirogane, famous in being the best Pilot of the Garrison. Having gone to SPACE and back with success on planets that earth can colonize on. And then also being a professor that made a breakthrough with Dr. Matt Holt, in faster space travel?” Lance asked, his voice was bland and Hunk looked at his friend with worry. 

“Yes?” Hunk spoke, though it sounded more like a question even to his ears. 

“Ah..... Hunk, I'm about to go into a meltdown. How fast can you get here?” Lance asked, as he continued to stare at the wiggling and crying man. It seemed the other was trying to get Lance more into his arms as much as possible. 

“Lance, there is a blizzard building up outside! Shay and her brother would kill me if did.” Hunk informed, making Lance frown. 

“What bli-... oh that would be it.” Lance commented, staring at the harsh snow storm outside. Which he could have sworn wasn't there before, making him have a firm belief that fate was a cruel mistress and also a very big asshole. 

“Okay, you know what. I'm going to get going Hunk.... and figure this out.” Lance informed, getting up and dragging the heavy dead weight along with him. 

“Alright good luck!” Hunk called, before the tablet screen went black. 

Lance sighed as heaved his way to grab some paper towels and cleaning spray. He lugged his way towards the puke, reprehending Shiro as he made his way as the other continued to cling to him. Honestly, Lance was glad that he took swimming so seriously throughout middle school and into college. 

He honestly didn't think he would be able to do this without the training. 

“Shiro, at least walk with me. I don't want you to get rub burn.” Lance informed, throwing away the trash, before he turned to look at the man below him. Again Shiro burst into drunken tears and Lance, couldn't help to feel that he was getting used to this. As he just rolled his eyes, grabbing a tissue and wiping the tears and snot away form the man's face. 

“You're so nnniiiiccceeee.... I love it.... it's so fucking hoooottt...” Shiro informed, making Lance giggle as he dragged themselves to the couch. 

“Alright, let's just... sit on the couch until you either fall asleep or get sober.” Lance informed, getting Shiro to nuzzling into his back as he trudged his way to the couch. It took a little while to settle as the much larger man wanted to cradle him in his arms. Eventually, through sweat and, on Shiro's part, tears he was able to be cradled in the others arm. 

His back to a strong chest and his 3DS in his hand. Already Lance had set up the tablet to show some random documentary, just in case Shiro wanted to watch something else than him playing video games. For even with the other being a clingy drunk who broke into his apartment and being one of the most important figures of the generation, doesn't mean he would ever be a shitty host. 

His family taught him better than that. 

“You know, you'll be super embarrassed when you become coherent.” Lance informed, shivering as he felt the other nuzzling his neck and holding him tight. 

“I won't regret it though.” Was the final thing Shiro mumbled before he passed out. In another hour, Lance also passed out with his 3ds falling on the rugged floor as he turned around to cuddle into the warm heat that surrounded him. 

The next morning.... well... you could say it started with a bang. 

BANG!

“SHIRO?! ARE YOU IN HERE?! I TRACKED YOUR PHONE!” 

“MATT! KEITH! I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU! THIS IS MY FRIEND'S APARTMENT! YOU JUST TORE DOWN HIS DOOR!” 

“I'LL SAVE YOU SHIRO!” 

Lance jolted awake along with Shiro, the two scrambling up, before falling off of the couch with a loud thump. Lance groaned, as Shiro's heavy weight slammed on top of him and not in the good way that he would like. Shiro, blinked look around in confusion before realization dawned on him and he scrambled off of Lance. 

“I'm so sorry!” Shiro apologized, peeling Lance off the floor. 

“What iiIISSSS!!!!!! MY DOOR!” Lance cried, when Shiro finally brought him up to see his feet to see his door on the floor. Hinges basically torn off, with a very angry Pidge trying to beat up someone who looked just like her and another raven haired man. 

“Sorry Lance!” Pidge hissed as she was on the black haired male's back. Pulling at his hair and making him scrambling to get her off with the help of the other man. 

“...... Per chance, do you need a glass of water? You were really wasted.” Lance asked, looking back at Shiro whom was a beat red. Well, actually he looked like a fire engine red and Lance was worried that the other would faint with how red he was. 

“I-I..... I'm so sorry.” Shiro groaned, face palming and rubbing his large hand over his handsome features. Lance laughed, before he leaned in and whispered into the others ears. 

“If you meant what you said, you'll stay for breakfast and ask for my number at the end.” Lance informed, winking at the other before he turned around stating that Pidge's brother would have to pay for the damages to his apartment. 

An hour later, with pancakes consumed and water downed. Lance is bidding farewell of Matt, Keith and Pidge while he waited for Shiro to change into his clean clothes. Lance was surprised how much he enjoyed himself and smiled fondly who Shiro looked at him with something that set his blood on fire and yet his lite his chest with a warm feeling. 

“Thank you again for helping me out.... sorry for... breaking into you apartment and well...” Shiro spoke, rubbing the back of his head as he came to Lance. 

“Don't worry about! Let it never be said that a McClain hosting skills are bad.” Lance informed, making Shiro chuckle. But, then those eyes seemed to glow and Lance shivered just a bit as Shiro leaned in. 

“Would it be too much if I asked for you number? Along with a date this Saturday?” Shiro asked, making Lance smirk. “Consider it as payment.” Lance purred. 

“HEY LOVE BIRDS!” 

“DAMN IT PIDGE! WE'RE HAVING A MOMENT!” 

“FUCK YOU! LOOK UP!” 

The two did, and saw with wide eyes the mistletoe that was nestled on top of the doorway. Thing is, Lance never remembered there being one. He decorate his apartment yes, but he never place this thing on and he couldn't help give a thumbs up to his best wingman ever. Pidge gave a thumbs up back, before she pushed away the two confused men behind her. 

Lance snickered, before he tilted his head and beckoned Shiro. Shiro didn't anymore prompting, the two leaned in and their lips touched. At first it was gentle touches, kissing once and twice. The third time though, the kiss deepened and tongues tasted. Lance leaned back and placed a small chaste kiss to Shiro's nose. 

“Can't give you too much. You gotta work for this.” Lance informed, making Shiro grin back at him. 

“Then consider yourself being courted.” Shiro whispered, before kissing Lance's hand with a wink. 

“I can't wait.”


End file.
